All About ME!
by Batmans Little Helper Teehee
Summary: Awesome lifestyle, good looking, can make ladies swoon with a simple smile, quite fearless, but is this enough for this hog to survive his employer and insane co.workers? Warning: Fancharacters, swearing, possible sexy times we'll see ;


_**All About ME!**_

_**Authors Note: Yeah, hi, the other day my friend had asked me to write a story about his FanCharacter Jex The Hedgehog. He said that I could basically go wild with my ideas, and here we have All About ME! There is also another fanchar in it, one of mine, Psycho Bunny, so I suggest to people who don't like fanchars, to read it anyway, and to people who don't mind reading about fanchars, read it with pride! It's gonna be on a Teen rating for now, but it may go up, but we'll see how my mind works, thank you very much, enjoy the show ~3**_

_**Chapter 1**_

The sun had hidden itself behind the large buildings, the pink tinge in the sky falling to black, the lights of the city flickered on, illuminating the area in fabulous shades of purple, green, red and pink, quite beautiful. The streets were soon filled with people dressed to impress, women in dresses and skirts that suited them perfectly in shape and colour, men in suit pants and shirts, each looking devilishly handsome. Many couples were headed to the famous restaurant and nightclub 'Seven Starry Nights', it's well known for it's delectable food, stunning nightclub, and generous prices for well prepared cocktails. Many couples and groups of friends were headed there tonight, including a cute couple who were seated by the cities water feature.

Both were sitting on a stone bench, the female giggling at her partner's stories of his work. The female a grey panther flicked her hair back, her amber eyes staring dreamily at the male before her. The male a black hedgehog, white hair just long enough to pass his chin, fringe almost covering his left eye. White flame like patterns mapped the quills on his head, making him seem rather unique and quite easy on the eyes. The male smirked, seeing his 'date' almost drooling on his lap. 'Ahh, I still got it~' he mused mentally as he gently placed a hand on the young woman's cheek. "I can tell ya more stories over a few shots of Cola Cube, Sasha, if you like." He winked at the girl, and that sealed the deal, her cheeks turned a faint shade of pink, and with a nod of her head she stood up, holding her hand out to her very handsome 'date'. "C-come on then Jex." The hedgehog gave his best alluring smile, as he took her hand, the drooling blushing panther leading him to the wonderful Seven Starry Nights club.

Inside the music was blaring, luminous coloured lights flashing everywhere, people on the dance floor, dance moves quite erotic and seductive, bodies pressing against one another, hands roaming, pretty hot scene. The flushed panther squeezed her 'dates' hand as she lead him to the bar. "Uhh t-two shots of C-Cola Cube, please?" she asked, the bartender just nodding and getting the mixture required. The blushing panther turned her attention back to the ever so calm and cool hedgehog. "J-Jex? H-how did you get into the agency anyway?" Jex merely shrugged his shoulders, his gaze turning to the mirror behind the bar. "Ya like askin questions bout mah job, don't ya, hunnie?" a frown came to his lips as the bartender set the tiny glasses of red liquid in front of him and his 'date'. "Enjoy guys." Sasha nodded and picked the glass up, her gaze falling onto Jex, she bit her lip nervously, afraid she offended him. She held out her glass to him "Ch-cheers?" Smirking, the ebony hedgehog held out his glass and gently clanked it against hers "Hmm Cheers, hunnie." And with that both knocked the drink back, then slammed the glasses down onto the bar table.

Gasping noises came from the panther "H-holy crap! That's horrible!" Jex merely licked his lips and looked back down at his glass. "Hmmm, that was hot, how about another hmm?" he grinned, holding up his small glass, much to the horror of his 'date' "A-another?" she gasped, and looked at his glass as if it were small rodent riddled with disease and fleas. "D-do you take pleasure in drinking nasty things?" she shook her head, Jex just smirked and nodded "I learned that nasty drinks get ya drunk quicker, you have fun when your drunk, riiiiggghhhht?" he purred softly as he gently placed his hand on the panthers cheek, his thumb stroking it lovingly. Ohh the touch just made her melt, and in her daze she nodded "S-sure." A smirk formed on the ebony hog's peach lips. "Of Course you do, uh barkeep? 'scuse me? Two more Cola Cubes, kay thanks?"

The night went on, after their third or was it fourth shot the pair headed for the dance floor, the drink helping ebony cope with the crowd and constant elbows in his spine, asses on his hip, and strange hands fondling his tail. He hated nightclubs, well hated dancing in them anyway, but whatever the customer wants, he's not allowed complain. So he kept himself focused on the pretty thing dancing up against him, the drink helped him ignore the randomers molesting his tail. "Jexxx? Y-you havin fun? Yeah?" the panther giggled, she was gone already? "Yeah I'm havin a great time, 'cause I got a great girl to dance with." He smirked as he took her hand and twirled her around.

The night ended pretty well, no one died, no one was raped, and no one was puked on, Sasha didn't get lost, so to the ebony hedgehog the night was a success! Though trying to get Sasha into a taxi wasn't that hot. She clung to the poor hedgehog, claiming that she was in love, which made the hedgehog wince, he hated when this happed. Eventually she got into the taxi, leaving Jex to groan in frustration "Damn, I'm too hot for my own good." He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, his ear twitched when he heard someone whistle, he looked over to see a bunch of drunks leaning against a mini bus "H-hey -hic- d-douche w-wehee-hic- nee-eed another pershonnn, tuh, eh, g-get ovvver hereee." Folding his arms over his chest Jex merely stared. "Hmmm, a strange drunk wolfie wants me to get into a cab with him and his drunken bro's, is this a wise choice Jex?" He thought for a moment, before shrugging "Sure it is!" and he headed over towards the cab, and hopped in with the rest of the drunken crew.

Perhaps about twenty minute later, they arrived outside a large building, pink lights all the way up the building. Jex hopped off the mini bus, tossing the driver three quid, the drunks had a point, the more in the cab the cheaper it is. The drunks that remained awake waved him goodbye, and awkwardly, Jex waved back, before turning to face the gate of his home. He rolled his eyes as he stared at the large silver gates, that had a heart shaped design in the middle, and inside the heart was a beautifully designed R. "Wastin money on crappy gates, just like that Mama." He snorted as he headed towards a small hut by the gates. "Yo, security guard guy? Open the gate? Por favour?" The brown Labrador, merely shook his head "Ya know, I really shouldn't, since I know you were the one who stole that crazy kid Psy made for me." With a shake of his head the ebony hedgehog leaned against the hut "Dude, c'mon, give a whore a break, it's 2 a.m. and I saved you by the way, the cake was too rich, too much cream and too many strawberries, too fattening, and you don't need that do you?" he spoke ever so innocently, much to the annoyance of the lab. "You ain't no whore, pretty boy, your too stupid to be one, and by the looks of it you'd probably eat the god damned lube. Now get in or I'll leave you out on the streets so the creeps of the night can come get you." He groaned and pressed a button, the gates opened slowly, and the ebony hedgehog grinned and he walked on through. "Aw, thanks so much, Duke, I knew ya loved me." He waved at the lab "My name isn't Duke!" roared the frustrated old security guard.

The ebony hedgehog sighed once he had entered the building, the warmth of the heater, barely dressed girls and guys lounging around the lobby, yeah he was home. A smirk came to his lips at the sight of his boss coming towards, a lovely busty white bat, pink framed glasses over her eyes, a tight white long sleeved blouse covered her upper body, and long black slacks hid those nice firm legs. "Well Jex, enjoy your date?" she chuckled and turned away, heading towards the lift. Rolling his eyes, Jex followed his boss and got into the lift with her, a deep sigh passing his lips as he readied himself for the same questions she asks any time he had been rented.

"I'm guessing Miss Sasha was happy with her purchase tonight?" the bat smirked, crystal eyes staring mischievously at the hedgehog. With a sigh, Jex replied. "Yes, Mama Rouge." He groaned, and occupied himself with fixing his hair "Aren't they always happy with me?" Rouge chuckled, and shook her head before using her index finger to gently slip her glasses back up. "Of course, my wittle Jexy-kun always gets good rewiews!" she spoke in a childish tone as she gripped his cheek, much to his annoyance. "Ugh get the hell off me MOTHER." He snorted, and the lift came to a halt. The ebony hog stepped out, still trying to fix his hair as he headed twards his apartment door, and was followed by his sexy however annoying, employer. "Jex, I have a client for you for tomorrow evening." The hedgehog flicked his hair back and nodded as he whipped out the key to the door "Oh yeah, sure, sure, can you give me the details tomoz? Cause I have a lot of wet dreams to catch up on." He smirked at the bat and opened the door.

Rouge merely rolled her eyes "I'm not quite sure how these clients can find you at all charming." She muttered as she followed him into his room. "You better not act like a creep with your client tomorrow, or your dick is coming off." She huffed kicking the door closed. The ebony hedgehog shook his head while he headed towards the fridge "Don't be threatening my Long John _Mama Rouge." _He snorted, and opened the fridge, only to be knocked backwards to the floor. "What the fuck?" the ivory bat quickly ran to his aid, but merely smirked at the sight of the ebony hedgehog laying on the floor, with young a apple juice covered grey rabbit sitting on him. "Jexy-kun you came back! How was your lady girl tonight? Was she better than me? WAS SHE?" The rabbit growled, fingerless gloved hands gripping his shirt tightly, crimson eyes holding a dangerous fury. Rouge merely laughed, while the ebony hog just glared at the little rabbit. "Fuck sake Psycho! Get off me!" he growled and shoved the rabbit off. "_Mother_? Aren't you gonna help me up?" he scoffed as he held out his hand. The busty bat merely snorted and turned her head away "As if, I'm not your real mommy."

Jex just sighed, and helped himself to his feet, once up he stared down at the rabbit sitting on the floor. The rabbit just threw him her famous innocent smile. "How the hell did you get into my room? No, no scratch that, how the hell did you get into my fridge?" The rabbit merely shrugged and got to her feet, her smile growing as she looked at the white bat. "Mama Rouge! Psycho made a customer happy too, today!" she said as walked around the room feeling rather proud of herself. The bat smirked, the hedgehog frowned. Jex shook his head and looked into the fridge searching for something that wasn't broken or smushed, while the bat stood and gently pat the rabbit on the head. "Good work, Psy. Think you can handle another one tomorrow morning?" she asked while she examined her nails. The rabbit grinned "Course I can, I'm a big bitch now, I can handle anything." Jex rolled his eyes as he listened to the rabbit girl "Psy? What the hell are you even doing here, you can't do what a lot of the girls here can do. And you don't even know what a lot of what they do is." He huffed as he snapped open a small can of beer.

"Why you gotta bring Psycho down like a guy who sleeps in a bin?" the rabbit whined and threw a near by pillow at the hedgehog. Jex merely glared "Why do you have be a pain in the hole?" "Why do you have to be a mean piece of pie!" "Well why can't you learn how to fucking bake a proper pie!" The white rabbit groaned in annoyance and she rubbed her temples. "You two, put the damn claws away!" The death glares the rabbit and hedgehog were giving each other had faded, the hedgehog merely looked away. "Stupid Psycho Bitch." The young rabbit clasped her hands together "Awww, I love you too Jexy-kunnn~" The hedgehog groaned and turned back around, taking a long sip of his can.

The white bat looked over at the young rabbit, eyebrow raised "Psy, where did you get that spiked choker?" The rabbit looked confused for a moment before she placed her hand on her neck, feeling the spiked choker. "Oh! Jim-Jam gave me it today, took me into a shop with lots of leathery lacey clothes in it and some like I dunno, cylinder, shaped thingies? Cept they were squishy and some made strange noises and moved. It was weird, but meh, I got this nice present, and Jexy-kun got nothing but another drunk hoe, oh!" She hummed, making up her own little song about the drunken hoe. Jex flopped down onto the couch "She wasn't drunk when I met her." He said before taking a swig of his beer.

The bat was starting to lose her reason, she had a creepy hedgehog guy who always got the clients drunk, and a child with selective knowledge of grown up things. "Psy, that creep better not have touched you, if he did you'll go down in value!" the bat began to panic, pacing back and forth in the room, while Psycho sat on the floor, giving Jex a 'wtf' look. Jex just shrugged as Rouge asked again "Psycho, did that guy touch you at all?" the rabbit thought for a moment "Well, he held my hand, squeezed my shoulders, rubbed my cheek, kissed my ears, and played with my tail, sometimes. Is that what you mean? Am I in trouble? Do I have to go to jail? OH! Will I be able to see Scourge again? Wil- OW!" she was cut off when an empty can clattered her on the head. Crimson eyes glared at the hedgehog laying on the couch "You slut!" Rouge turned around to face the hedgehog, glaring daggers at the twenty year old "Jex, piss off, Psycho stop being a dope, did he touch, your, you know, your Baby Maker?" Crimson eyes widened "What? Noo! I won't let no one touch there! I pee out of there!" Rouge just sighed in relief and pet the frantic rabbits head.

"Good Psycho, now we won't let any men or ladies touch you there ok? Not even that creep on the couch." "Hey! Loving boobies ain't no crime, bitch." Rouge glared and stomed over to the hedgehog "That is _Mama _Bitch to you." She huffed and folded her arms over her bust. "Anyways, about tomorrow, your client." Jex nodded and waved a hand at her "Yeah, yeah I know, I won't get her drunk." "I'll hold you to that, but also, this client is also a good friend of mine, she's trying to get over a guy who treats her like Apes treat their first borns sometimes. He wants nothing to do with her, but when someone else has her, he suddenly cares."

The hedgehog rose an eyebrow "Really? So she wants to make that guy well jel?" The bat shook her head "Well not exactly, I just want her to have a good time, I let her see the catalogue and she picked you." She scoffed, which made the hedgehog only grin "Ah sure why not? I am the best lookin motha fuka in this joint, right?" he smirked, but it was soon replaced by a wince as the grey rabbit dived onto his stomach. "No, no, Jexy-kun wroohoonnnhooonnnng. Jexy-kun is sexy beast, Psych wishes to be bed mate someday, but there is another who takes the cupcakes of sexyness!" The rabbit crawled atop the hedgehog and sat on his thighs "Silver-kun~" she sighed dreamily, making the hedgehog groan in annoyance and the bat give a look of amusement. "Yeah, Silver is hot, now howcome you don't stalk him?" the hedgehog asked rather annoyed "Cause Silver-kun already Psycho's bestestest friend, we is condom siblings!"

Two pairs of wide eyes stared at the rabbit "Condom siblings? Oh please tell me he didn't!" the bat groaned holding her head in her hands. "Didn't do what? Silver-kun dropped some packets, Psycho picked them up, they were colourful, he asked did I want one, Psycho took a red one. The packet said it tasted like strawberries! And holy jizz monkies it did!" The hedgehog cringed and shoved the rabbit off "I don't wanna know, I just wants you both out, I want sleep, out hoes!" The white bat slid her glasses backup and smirked "Sure, sure, whatever, just remember, your not fuckin up shit with the client tomorrow!" the bat hissed as she took hold of the rabbits hand, and the headed towards the door, the rabbit of course quite reluctant to go tried to hold onto anything that she could reach.

This just amused the bat, and annoyed the hedgehog. "C'mon Psy get out, unless you wanna see my Long John like." He shrugged, and earned a glare from his employer "She's just thirteen, she's too young for that!" the ebony hedgehog merely laughed "She's too young to be an escort too ain't she?" he scoffed and waved them off. "Get out, Psy, I'll dress you up like a hoe for your date tomorrow." Psycho stopped, eyes wide and sparkling with hope "Promise?" "Yeah sure." The rabbit squeaked an skipped out the door. Rouge just stared, surprised and slightly disturbed. "Err, right, yeah so behave tomorrow or I'll slit your throat, kay? Night sweetheart~" The hedgehog sighed as he unbuttoned his shirt "Yeah, yeah, what's this chick's name anyways?" he asked as he tossed the shirt to the floor. The ivory bat smirked "Her name is Amy Rose, sleep tight _babe."_ She giggled as she left the room, leaving a slightly confused ebony hedgehog alone. "Amy Rose? Where have I heard that name before?"

He kept thinking, trying to figure out who she was, the name sounded so familiar, but he couldn't put a face to it. "Amy Rose?" he muttered again as he slid of his slacks and strutted in his boxers towards his bedroom. "Damn who is this hoe?" he growled and ripped the blanket from the bed, and jumped in and pulled the blanket back over him. "Amy Rose?" He lay on his back, eyes gazing around the room, as if the answers could be found in his posters. He paused for a moment when he noticed the poster of Sonic The Hedgehog. "Stupid Psy." He muttered, the rabbit had claimed to be close to the blue hedgehog, but ran away, and ended up here. She forced Jex to have a poster of him in his room, she thought that everyone should have a hero watching over them while they sleep. Jex however didn't think much of it, just thought she was being a creep again.

However, as he stared at the poster he began to remember some stories Psy had told him, one of them being about a time she had hugged the blue hero and nearly got her head ripped off by a pink hedgehog. He smirked to himself "Maybe we should make her work here, she'd keep that crazy bitch out of my fridge." He chuckled and shook his head "What was her name? Damn I'm shit at this." He closed his eyes in thought for a moment or two before his eyes snapped open and he grinned in triumph "Amy Rose that's who it is!" however after another moment, realisation suddenly hit him, and he slapped his forehead as he remembered Psy's story and description of the girl. "Aw shit!"


End file.
